Monthly Archives: November 2013

The Significant Seven… of Soulful Parenting?

By Laxmi Parmeswar

  1. Every child must evoke two feelings in parents/teachers and all adults- tenderness for who he/she is and respect for what he/she may become. 
  2. Children may not always be good at listening to adults but they never fail to imitate them. 
  3. Children need love especially when they do not deserve it.
  4. We spend more time providing for our children’s tomorrow and not enough time being with them today.
  5. When children are given too many material things, they become unruly, impatient children and unhappy, childish adults.
  6. Home and school are the places where children first learn to limit their wishes, abide by rules,  and consider the rights and needs of others.
  7. There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children- one is roots so they develop a solid grounding, and the other is wings, so they may soar towards their goals.

The Inner Child

By Laxmi Parmeswar

Several countries around the world celebrate children’s day to honor their nation’s children. United Nations’ recommendation for a ‘Universal Children’s Day’ is on November 20th; India coincides its celebration of children with the birth date of its first prime minister, Jawaharlal Nehru, on November 14th. I feel blessed to honor children through my work, all 365 days of the year!

As a family therapist, if I were asked to describe the transformation process of therapy in simple terms, I would say that it is nurturing our human ability to get in touch with our ‘inner child’ – the natural ability to be in the moment and present, the power of experiencing sheer joy for no apparent reason, the unexpected candor, the unconditional spontaneity, the boundless curiosity, the guileless simplicity, the timeless wonder, the unbridled imagination, the trust in endless possibilities, the state of ingenuousness, and natural transparency in thought, emotion and action.

So as we claim the responsibility to promote and advocate for the welfare of children, our most important worldwide asset, let us make a personal commitment to access and celebrate the child within us, heal and grow from the inside, learn to be authentic & trusting and unshackle ourselves from the chains of ‘busy-ness’ & unnecessary cynicism!

Celebrating Our Children in 200 Words

Posted by Laxmi Parmeswar

Did you know that in 1913, Rabindranath Tagore was the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize for literature? A painter, playwright, poet, composer, novelist, author, AND international traveler, he was primarily an individual way ahead of his time! His following quote is the one that deeply resonates with me. He said (and I try to remember this daily, particularly in my role as a parent), “Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.”

Even the most well-intentioned and thoughtful parent tends to forget that (s)he can never really walk in the shoes of his or her child. It was true for us as children; it is still true today for us as parents and will remain true tomorrow. This is a simple fact that needs to be comprehended fully. Each one of us is blessed with our own set of cumulative experiences that make us who we are today – every event, every memory, every perception, every story and every moment. No two individuals are identical; not even identical twins, who share the same genetic make-up.

Many “good parents” fall into the trap of believing that their adult children should learn from their mistakes. But can they really? Can we package “good decisions” and hand them over to our children? Can we protect them from mistakes, errors in judgment, pain, grief, disappointment, anger, regret, and loss? Maybe we should find a way to protect them from us!